Amuseables Sardine Tin is a true expert in efficiency. As the part-time logistics manager at Swinley Boar’s Boar Store, he oversees inventory, organises crates and ensures every supply is neatly tinned, tagged and ready for action.

Naturally, he has a spreadsheet for everything—carefully arranged by brine level, of course. While some might find his meticulous ways a little dull, he’s surprisingly entertaining once he opens up.

Just don’t ask about tin number four… He’s sworn to secrecy!